Act like it's no big deal. He asks odd questions like whether it's gay to do X, Y, or Z things with a guy, or whether it's gay if you only do it once, and so on. Straight pillows on a straight bed. Explain how you think sexuality doesn't fit into boxes, and that the things we do during hookups don't have to mean anything. Most guys in the world are straight.
Though the only way to know for sure if a guy is bi or bi-curious is by asking him, there are some vague signs that you can look for to clue you in early on: If this is the case, you may want to steer clear anyway. Gay men in particularly are guilty of this. People assume that you're gay, even though it's not true. Show that you respect his boundaries by never pushing him into something he doesn't want. To show that you're not looking to challenge his identity, tell him that you're not into labels. If he thinks that you're going to just roll your eyes and make assumptions about him, or try to push him to be "more gay," then he'll insist that he's straight. You cannot change someone's orientation. This is the only way to know for sure, but unfortunately you might have to beat around the bush to work it out of him. If you hook up with a guy like this, you aren't changing his orientation, you're just helping him discover a part of it that he might not have been aware of. Again, both straight and gay people will make these assumptions. If he "turns," then he was gay or bi all along. Lots of us make assumptions about people's orientations. Spend time with him, try to build a friendship, and wait. If you're looking for an actual romantic relationship with a "straight" guy who does not publicly identify as bisexual, then you'll be fighting an uphill battle most of the time. Another problem is indiscretion. Can you get a straight guy to be more flexible with his preferences? Keep this in mind. If so, then for all you know, he could be bi or even gay! Did you make automatic assumptions like these with no real evidence? Some of us might not want to give up so easily, however. Yes, a persons' orientation can change. Others have a strange attraction exclusively to straight guys, which makes dating other gay and bi guys difficult. You might wonder why he might be worried about judgement coming from a gay guy, but it definitely exists. You need to communicate that:
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